Photo Phraud

Do you know why I don’t like digital? Because its fake.

You have created something that is not capturing the moment or the feeling or the people. You have taken that image and “improved” it.

Take a nice portrait of someone and photoshop the hell out of it until they look like something that resembles something that could be in a “celebrity” mag.

The subjects are happy because you have captured their best side. No you haven’t. Adobe have developed something so you can airbrush out their mole, their bad hair. Well do you know what? I like your mole, I like your bad hair. Its you.

What digis are doing is creating a data base full of trickery and fake detail. It wasn’t sunny that day, there were clouds in the sky. I like clouds.

With the price of digital cameras coming down it seems every man and his dog is buying one and all of sudden is setting up a business page on facebook as a photographer.

Don’t worry about your crooked nose, don’t worry that the kids were crying. Ill edit that photo until you can barely recognize yourselves. Hell I’ll photoshop angelinas face on yours, why stop there? Flat chested? No worries Adobe has thought of that. Ill fix it.

I hate the way that so many people are going about with Digital SLRS swinging round their necks, oh what have you got there? Got yourself a nice little Canon have you? Oh I can “like” you on facebook? Oh yes your camera has a bjillion settings does it? What do you use? Oh you don’t have to learn it, you have it on automatic. Of course you do.

Don’t worry about missing that moment, my memory card can hold 10000000 photos and I can fire off 2300 photos in a second. Brilliant. Good for you.

Well yes my camera may look a bit cra* compared to your 2lbs of modern technology designed to wear like medal. My camera can only take 24 or 36 shots. You know what? That’s all I need. That’s all I want.

Please do not shove that camera in my face bursting flashes at a rate of 10000 a second.

What you have fed into is a market where the camera and the software are the photographer. You my dillusioned friend are not the artist. The camera is and kudos to the likes of Nikon for their PR. You have pressed a button on your camera. You have plugged a lead in to your pc and have got adobe to apply its filters.

You have got people to stand in a way they never stand, you have got them to smile in a way that is unnatural and their neck is at an angle that must hurt.  Oh no the light wasn’t right that day? No worries, Adobe has thought of that. There was a drunk tramp in the back ground? No worries, no more tramp with Adobe. Well listen here digis, you keep your cameras and software. I like that tramp, I like the way her hair is blowing across her face. Deal with it.

You have not created an army of photographers, you have an army of suckers with money to burn.

Every camera I have has a story behind it, most have been owned by other people and have their own story. All have scratches on them. I love them. We take photos together. They sometimes surprise me, sometimes annoy me. But it’s a partnership, I respect them for it. The more I take them out with me the more they give. I see a scene I like, I take 1 photo, I don’t pump a thousand shots into it, blinding the subject and disturbing the scene. I am the photo sniper, viewfinders are for people who have no faith. I trust my cameras.

I’ll hold it at any angle, I’ll take it to dodgy places, hell I’ll throw it in the air if I want. Its my camera and it’s not just the results I enjoy. You know why digis? Because I enjoy being lomo.

You enjoy your mexa pixles you enjoy your memory cards the size of china, because what you don’t have is soul.

You can scoff at my photos with dodgy light leaks, accidental doubles, blurred edges, I was there and I enjoyed myself while I was.

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